A Conversation Over a Fence
Feb 11, 2026
Beneath the heated debates over policy and economics lies a deeper, more fundamental problem: the decline of our local communities and the collapse of our mutual trust. This pervades just about all others issues that we face. Robert Putnam described this decline as a decrease in social capital in his book Bowling Alone, published in 2000.
I have felt disillusioned with the current state of politics, often asking myself, “is there anything that I can do?” Many people probably feel the same, often coming to a similar conclusion that many issues are beyond our own control. As a normal citizen, I cannot sway the economy, I cannot fix healthcare, I cannot set public policy, etc… The more we think about all the things we cannot fix, we often disconnect and can even become resentful. Impotence, or helplessness, can be a horrible feeling. And while understanding one’s own limitations can be useful, I think it is MORE useful to understand the things that you CAN do – or in other words, the things that are within your sphere of control.
If we are to restore the American community, the change must start from the bottom. Each one of us, individually, must contribute how and where we can. If we work together within our own capabilities, together we can accomplish much more than we can individually. Some of the easiest ways to do this are making meaningful connections with those in your community. Perhaps the simplest way is to hold conversations with others. Learning about someone is the easiest way to connect with them. That would mean that we need to be putting ourselves in situations in which we can hold those meaningful conversations.
Perhaps one of the most evident ways to do this is to revive the dying art of the block party. By providing opportunities for those in your community to come together in a warm and relaxed environment, it makes it much easier to open up with those around you. While I am not saying that you need to share your most intimate secrets with your neighbors, I do believe that the more you know the stronger that communal connection will be. The stronger you make that connection, the more you also fulfill the basic human need for social contact and friendship.
Establishing and protecting shared spaces is another important factor. How many of us only have human interactions in some kind of transactional way? That may be at school trying to complete an assignment together, at work with your boss reviewing your efforts, or at the store as you make a purchase. These transactional interactions may be better than nothing, but they don’t provide that true human-to-human connection. Spending time with others in community spaces, such as parks, libraries, or community centers is a great way to connect with others of varying age, race, gender, economic status, or other categories that often seemingly differentiate us.
Participating in civic activities is another important aspect of rebuilding our communities. That may be as simple as voting or something more intensive like participating in Town Halls and volunteering at local charities. Holding and attending local events is another way to bring people together. While towns often hold events for big holidays such as the 4th of July or Christmas, smaller events can also be used to cross cultural divides based on common ground. This can be very important in communities with very little experience with minority culture. A town with a new and growing Hispanic community, for example, might host a Hispanic event where the community can come together to try Hispanic foods, learn more about Hispanic culture, and perhaps participate in Hispanic activities. By sharing together, you’re more likely to bring people together based on common experience rather than divide people based on perceived differences.
All of this must be done paying special attention to the appropriate use of technology. In this new digital age, we often find ourselves in our own worlds on social media. While social media can be good at connecting us to those we don’t live near, it only creates an illusion of connection. It mimics the real connectivity that happens all around us. By connecting ourselves online with a world that will never provide the same level of human bonding as in the real world, we ignore the area of our lives that actually fixes that problem.
Technology isn’t all bad. Sometimes that connection is important. But that online connection cannot be the only connection. Social media and technology must be used to supplement our communities, not replace them. When used as a support to already existing social networks, the internet and other digital means can be a powerful tool to bring us together – assuming meaningful connections exist in the real world too.
Reestablishing trust within our society doesn't start with sweeping national legislation; it starts with a conversation over a fence. By shifting our focus from the differences that divide us to the shared spaces that connect us, we can begin to rebuild the American community from the ground up.